I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
