he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
