Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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