Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
