I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize