Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Randomize
