I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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