i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
