I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
