my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
