it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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