You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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