she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
