You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
