just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
