I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
