Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
