My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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