He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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