i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
