some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Your cock deserves a montage
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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