Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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