dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
