A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
