how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Randomize
