in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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