I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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