I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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