I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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