There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
