So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
