I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize