You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
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She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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