You really coming over, don't trick.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
