im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
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He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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