Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
