Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
