It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize