Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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