I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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