I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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