In the future we'll all be gay
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
