She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
