i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
