We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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