I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
