Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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