i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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