Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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