Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You need Xanax blowdarts
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize