Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
