do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
