that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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