you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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