Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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