I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
