Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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