Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
