I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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