Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
