He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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