I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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