bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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