I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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