If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
