man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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