Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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