i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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