just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
